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How has Tumblr changed my life? [You get the heroes you deserve.]

This is not my original Tumblr. This is the record of my digital consciousness version 2.0. The first record was destroyed by time traveling censorship agents, hell bent on enforcing the arbitrary standards of social decency.

They believe that they can “save” the future by cleansing the past. Zealot bastards! The worst part is that they get into your head. They warp your thoughts, editing out all the exciting parts of the process. You no longer enjoy writing… you lose your spark; your balls. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Well… sometimes literally. A little part of you, the interesting part, kind of dies inside; you forget that you’re being influenced by nefarious external forces.

So, the worst part? Technically, I’m the asshole who deleted my original blog. 

How has Tumblr changed my life? From the moment I created my account, I was infused with strange and terrible powers. The ability to manipulate reality into shapes that I find more pleasing/disturbing. The power to kill and resurrect myself, in various ways; on several occasions. The aptitude to infect others with my random ideas, and volatile emotions…

You’d think I would have freaked out. I mean, signing up for a social network isn’t supposed to initiate spontaneous mutations… but considering that I was granted these powers, shortly after awakening to what was really going on in the world — under the mundane facade of “normal” existence — it all seemed so natural; almost Darwinian. 

In comparison to the soul numbing knowledge of what was really out there, the seeming futility of resistance… the wave of reasonable fatalism… my new abilities seemed less god-like and more like lack-luster adaptations. 

In the grand scheme of things… I was still just a pimple, on the ass of meaningful potential. 

So why do I even bother? Why do I still wake up every morning, strap on my nuclear ontology pistol, and persist in my literary acts of terrorism?

Because I’m out of my fucking mind! I’ve accept the meaninglessness of my rebellion, and embrace my role as a free agent of chaos… or maybe I just like the sound, when I pull the trigger, and some stupid-drone-bastard’s head explodes. 

No. I’m not a particularly good person… but in this twisted world, I’m the lesser of many evils. I’m the misanthropic antihero with nothing better to do, than to try and save humanity. I’m the tragic hero with nothing worse to face, than a career ending tumble, in my tango with destiny. Yeah. I’m destined to die a gross and painful death. Possibly something ridiculous, like choking on my own vomit. 

But… not today. I’ve still got plenty of mischief left in me, for now…

My point?

Heroism isn’t dead motherfuckers… it’s just more pissed off… and a whole lot dumber than it used to be. 

There are others, just nothing like me. An elite, secret army… of questionable value. We can’t remember if we’re here to save, or destroy the world. The only thing we can agree on?

Pursuing an interesting death is better than enduring abject boredom. 

You get the heroes you deserve. 

comments

80 notes

  1. cubricks reblogged this from ordinarywonder
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  3. oddandproud reblogged this from ordinarywonder
  4. aquietjoy said: Yay you!!
  5. xxdulcex reblogged this from ordinarywonder
  6. This was featured in #Storyboard
  7. victim-of-convenience said: “Heroism isn’t dead motherfuckers… it’s just more pissed off… and a whole lot dumber than it used to be.” <3
  8. artisticveins said: This is why I love tumblr! RIGHT HERE!!!
  9. This was featured in #Prose
  10. nikipattanaik reblogged this from aquietjoy
  11. lxxepicxxl said: Love that line at the end.
  12. trixclibrarian reblogged this from ordinarywonder and added:
    Noelle is amazing. Always. Amazing.
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