“What are you playing at?” She asks me, with this sour look on her face. Like I’m a wedge of something too bitter to enjoy, but too available not to suck dry for a while.
“You keep this up, and you’re going to be alone, in this small room, laying on that medium sized mattress, for the rest of your life. They do that on purpose you know, leaving just the right amount of space, to imagine the outline of a warm body…”
Truthfully? I hate this bitch. She doesn’t get me at all.
“Don’t roll your fucking eyes at me. You want to live in a fantasy world, where you’re courting vampires and other strange things that go bump in the night, or do you want to feel something real? You remember real, right? What that feels like, next to you… inside of you? Isn’t it time to indulge the dreams, only between the hours when the lights are out?”
I dream the way I fuck… with the lights on, and my eyes open. I dream the way I masturbate, with the computer on, and my fingers desperately touching my input hardware. I fuck the way I dream, violently… and 99% of it is a figment of my imagination. The other 1% is a perverted outtake of physical reality.
“Well? What do you have to say for yourself?
I have so much to say. All of my words are hard shapes, with sharp edges, but when I try to form them — it feels like I’m chewing on hundreds of razor blades. They cut up the insides of my mouth, and I choke on the blood.
Yeah. I can’t take another second, living with this cunt. I hate when she’s hovering over my shoulder, or breathing down my neck like a dragon of nag. I resent the way she talks down to me. I hate when she eats the last bite of ice cream, or uses the last bit of toilet paper. I can’t stand the sound of her stupid voice, rattling around inside of my head.
But what I hate the most… is when she shows up on the other side of the mirror, wearing the same face as me.
The worst part is that she’s right. I don’t want to end up alone, in this room with her, for one more second — let alone the rest of my life.
I seriously might kill her.
- sacrificial-lambs reblogged this from staygolden-poets
- losttotimeagain reblogged this from ordinarywonder
- losttotimeagain likes this
- aquietjoy likes this
- aethrone likes this
- takingstockofwhatmattersmost likes this
- thesealivesinme likes this
- unexpectedbalance likes this
- splintersandmilkshakes likes this
- staygolden-poets reblogged this from ordinarywonder
- twohousesoftheholy said: i vote exorcism
- kimberlys-ghost likes this
- xyllocorp likes this
- submarinedreams likes this
- onlythesensationofbreath likes this
- lonestardown likes this
- ford-notthebloodycar-collier likes this
- lovaboxa likes this
- afinermess likes this
- midnightvalkyrie likes this
- moaningatmidnight likes this
- myswaggismyown likes this
- embeeness likes this
- gustice likes this
- neobeat219 likes this
- tasteofbourbon likes this
- theincomplete likes this
- motivesandmemories likes this
- graciouswords likes this
- outofherhead likes this
- alfaazkibarsaat likes this
- mustangkate likes this
- the-mind-of-rueberry likes this
- possibleconfusion said: My first thought: I like your tags.
- ordinarywonder posted this