How can you really love a woman…
How can you really love a woman, if you’ve never seen her laugh? Not a small, pretty scoff. Not an adorable little giggle. I mean the true kind of laughter that makes her snort like a pig, or spit saliva out of her mouth.
The sort of involuntary fit of silliness that makes her gut spasm so intensely you’re worried that she’s going to suffocate, or piss herself. Those times when she laughs so hard that she falls out of bed, or slips off the sofa, and just rolls around against the ground; clutching her sides.
When she reminds you more of a dorky fifth grader, or a crazy wino, than a mythical creature. When it finally occurs to you that all that time you wasted feeling insecure, trying to look cool in front of her, you could have been really enjoying her company. That’s all she’s ever really wanted. Because she’s too goofy herself, to have judged you…
How can you really love a woman, if you’ve never seen her cry? Not a quiet sort of sob, where she presses her nose against your chest. Not a soft, tiny weep that makes her avert your gaze. I mean the desperate sort of wail that makes her sound like a tortured ghost, and forces snot out her nose.
The sort of uncontrolled surge of emotion that makes her body shake so violently you’re afraid that she’s going to shatter to bits, or hurt herself. Those moments when she cries so hard that she can’t get out of bed, or falls down the cracks, and just curls into a little ball on the floor; cradling herself.
When she looks more like a creature of the deep, or a mental ward patient, than an ethereal goddess. When you finally realize that all that effort you burned through, trying to problem-solve her, you could have just held her until she was ready to gather up the pieces. That’s all she’s ever really needed. Because she’s too complex, for you to fix…
How can you really love a woman, if you’ve never seen her at her most ridiculous or vulnerable. If you don’t have the patience, or the stomach, or the vision to see past her graces and virtues to look her flaws and vices in the eyes. How can you appreciate her unique quality of beauty when you don’t understand her particular sort of ugly?
How can you expect her to really love you back, if you’ve never expressed enough interest to be invited into her inner world?
How can you really love a woman, when you’re already in love with her idealized version?
How could a real woman ever stand a chance?
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